So what is this spirit that we need to limit?
It's that intense emotion that overwhelms us and becomes a driving force not only for good and virtuous deeds, acts of love and understanding but also for those of anger, jealousy, malice, foolishness, etc. We often confuse it with the term "unconditional love" and think that in life, we should tolerate everything without limiting the spirit that possesses our surroundings.
Unconditional: Without selfishness and personal gain, where actions are determined by noble motives rather than personal interests.
If we go back to the definition of love, as described by the Apostle Paul in the "Hymn of Love" (1' Corinthians 13) we can quickly identify the boundaries we need to set in our lives. Love is patient, kind, not envious, not boastful, not proud, not dishonoring, not self-seeking, not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs, does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth, always protects, trusts, hopes, and perseveres. Therefore, anything or anyone entering our lives or speaking to us in ways inconsistent with what love aims for should be deliberately limited by setting boundaries.
Christ knows the purpose of his incarnation and even sets boundaries for his beloved Apostles!
Matthew 16:21-23
21 Ἀπὸ τότε ἤρξατο ὁ Ἰησοῦς δεικνύειν τοῖς μαθηταῖς αὐτοῦ ὅτι δεῖ αὐτὸν ἀπελθεῖν
εἰς Ἱεροσόλυμα καὶ πολλὰ παθεῖν ἀπὸ τῶν πρεσβυτέρων καὶ ἀρχιερέων καὶ γραμματέων καὶ ἀποκτανθῆναι, καὶ τῇ τρίτη ἡμέρᾳ ἐγερθῆναι.
[eng] From that time on Jesus began to explain to his disciples that he must go to Jerusalem and suffer many things at the hands of the elders, the chief priests and the teachers of the law, and that he must be killed and on the third day be raised to life.
22καὶ προσλαβόμενος αὐτὸν ὁ Πέτρος ἤρξατο ἐπιτιμᾶν αὐτῷ λέγων· ἵλεώς σοι, Κύριε· οὐ μὴ ἔσται σοι τοῦτο.
[eng] Peter took him aside and began to rebuke him. “Never, Lord!” he said. “This shall never happen to you!”
23 ὁ δὲ στραφεὶς εἶπε τῷ Πέτρῳ· ὕπαγε ὀπίσω μου, σατανᾶ· σκάνδαλόν μου εἶ· ὅτι οὐ φρονεῖς τὰ τοῦ Θεοῦ, ἀλλὰ τὰ τῶν ἀνθρώπων.
[eng] Jesus turned and said to Peter, “Get behind me, Satan! You are a stumbling block to me; you do not have in mind the concerns of God, but merely human concerns.”
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God loves all people and desires the salvation of all. Respecting and accepting the limits that each person sets in his life is an immutable right... true love knows how to accept it and thus defines personal freedom. We can love anyone we want, even from a distance when our value is not recognized.
Galatians 5:1
Τῇ ἐλευθερίᾳ οὖν, ᾗ Χριστὸς ἡμᾶς ἠλευθέρωσε, στήκετε, καὶ μὴ πάλιν ζυγῷ δουλείας ἐνέχεσθε.
[eng] It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.
By setting boundaries and elevating our personal value in life, our relationships are healed and become healthier. The people and situations we attract into our lives represent our true selves to a greater extent!
Romans 8:15
οὐ γὰρ ἐλάβετε Πνεῦμα δουλείας πάλιν εἰς φόβον, ἀλλ᾿ ἐλάβετε Πνεῦμα υἱοθεσίας,
ἐν ᾧ κράζομεν· ἀββᾶ ὁ πατήρ.
[eng] The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship. And by him we cry, “Abba, Father.”
Toxicity in relationships has enormous implications not only on how we live our lives and our daily routines but also on our spiritual and physical health!
How can we respond to these relationships?
Not responding or responding carefully is the easiest way and a form of forgiveness in the present moment. Another way is to protect our hearts because our goal is not to find a weakness in others but to know our value as defined by God!
1 Peter 2:23
ὃς λοιδορούμενος οὐκ ἀντελοιδόρει, πάσχων οὐκ ἠπείλει,
παρεδίδου δὲ τῷ κρίνοντι δικαίως·
[eng] When they hurled their insults at him, he did not retaliate; when he suffered, he made no threats. Instead, he entrusted himself to him who judges justly.
Galatians 5:13
Ὑμεῖς γὰρ ἐπ᾿ ἐλευθερίᾳ ἐκλήθητε, ἀδελφοί· μόνον μὴ τὴν ἐλευθερίαν εἰς ἀφορμὴν τῇ σαρκί, ἀλλὰ διὰ τῆς ἀγάπης δουλεύετε ἀλλήλοις.
[eng] You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh; rather, serve one another humbly in love.
Text: Maria Langaditi
Text editing: Ada Kiriazi
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